thoughts from the road to home

January 3, 2010

I’ve been away so long . . .   Sitting here now in my little living room, back again in Sacramento, with my kitten warming my leg and K snoring away in bed, I am so grateful to be home; to have my own space, to have my yoga ‘room’, to cook whatever I want, to take a shower in my own shower with my own stuff!  To have this moment to write out my thoughts, to take some time for myself – it’s so fabulous to be back to some space for ME!

I found it extremely difficult to care for myself over the past couple weeks of traveling – always in someone else’s space on someone else’s schedule.  My family is so kind and generous that the inconveniences were mild, however there is always the sense of being displaced, burdensome and pressured to be as social as possible because this is all the time you get (shit!!).

It was difficult to practice yoga in this world.  My body suffered because of it.

A little recap of my adventures:

Monday, Dec 21st:

woke up way too early (4:45 am after the last night of teacher training and the wonderful dinner that followed)

did some secret-layover-chair yoga, breath awareness and foot massage in the Phoenix terminal (you know, the kind of thing you don’t think people notice, but they probably do)

B picked me up in Austin, and we met with friends for a lovely evening out

Dec 22nd:

cooooolllllddd in Austin – not feeling too hot from the late night out either, and can’t figure out how to practice in the tiny floor space of B and I’s bedroom at his parents house – decided to find the nearest studio and take a class

found very fancy looking studio, close to the house, and super-duper green built.  I figured they looked cool and showed up for a 5:30 vinyassa class (don’t know what I was thinking, I dislike *borderline hate* vinyassa flow)

the class was different: some very primped women students, male teacher, fast flow, and some sketchy instruction that threw safety to the wind.  This was a performance class, a push it to the limits class – people all about showing their stuff – I caught on pretty quick.  It was quite off-putting, but I tried to use the experience to practice surrendering to the moment/teacher/situation, while also listening and honoring what my body was telling me – a difficult balance in this particular situation, but I was going with it . . .  Then toward the end of the class the (male) teacher took us all (females) into Happy Baby and then called it “Happy Boyfriend” – WTF??!!  *screeching brakes and sirens blaring in my mind!!  seriously WTF?

went home (to B’s parents’) and told the family about my experience and assured my mother-in-law that it was a good thing that she didn’t come with me (I had tried to get her to join me)

felt saddened and disturbed by the experience, and somehow like my yoga (the yoga in my heart) was dirty.  the feeling lingered

vowed to purify my yoga with a home practice the next day, no matter how cold outside

December 23rd:

overcast in the morning, but turned into a beautiful day – outdoor meditation (lovely) then a long and wonderful practice in the sun: purified!

December 24th:

christmas eve hustle and bustle around the house

squeezed in a 12 minute meditation, calming for the heart and mind, aaaahhhhh.

places to go and people to see: drove out into the hill country to visit my momma, my sister, grandma, step-dad and brother, and various other friends

IT SNOWED!!!  or something that looked and felt like snow. it was magical – it’s never snowed at my mom’s house.  we were all giddy and childlike.  it happened twice, for about 10 mins each time, and it was amazing.

visit with my loved ones was far too short.

December 25th: christmas!

excitement and fun with B’s family on christmas morning.  K was a joy to watch.

afternoon dinner with my dad, sisters and that side of the family.  more EATING way too much, more family, more love and gratitude . . .

December 26th:  Pack and Grocery Shop for Big Bend day!

big day, lots of readying and packing and organizing and fitting things into the rental car like puzzle pieces, making lists of what not to forget (long underwear, the tarp, hiking boots, smores fixins, etc) and grocery shopping for 6 days and nights in the desert.

cooollllld outside again.  practiced a couple cycles of a mini sun salute and a few poses in the cramped space of B and I’s bedroom floor.  not enough yoga . . .

December 27th:

Out of the house by 8:30 and heading to BIG BEND!!  Yay!

long (7+ hour) car ride – moved around as much as possible, wiggled my toes and gave myself a mini hand massage

enjoyed the beautiful scenery and the excitement of our first day on the road and the arrival at the campsite!

amazing sunset

slept ok – coldest year at Big Bend yet – around freezing at night . . .

December 28th:

yummy coffee, yummy oatmeal (everything tastes better when you’re camping)

trip into the park to hike Pine Canyon with B and K.

great hike, beautiful landscape

back at the campsite in time to cook dinner and put the warm clothes and headlamps on before it got dark.

wonderful evening with friends by the fire, everyone got out their instruments and sang us some songs – old goodies and new gems.  good times.

cold sleeping again

December 29th:

into the park to explore Terlingua Ranch – a bit of a historic place we’ve never been to

drove an hour down a dirt road to Terlingua Ranch and it’s closed down – no money to run the place

made the best of it and took the back road to the town of Terlingua and checked out the Ghost Town – interesting.

had an amazingly gorgeous drive back to the campsite – the clouds were incredible.

showered before heading back to the campsite – had to wash off the grunge

just in time to throw our veggies into the wok for stir fry night.

December 30th:

K wants to hang with his friends today, and does not want to go on a hike unless they can come.

B and I invite K’s friends to hike Santa Elena Canyon.

long, beautiful drive to the canyon.

short hike.  sweet lunch on the Rio Grande border b/t Texas and Mexico.  the kids were wonderful and fun.

long drive back . . . and just in time for dinner.

December 31st: New Year’s Eve

we do not want to drive today, dammit!

B’s sister invites K to Earnst Tinaja (one of K’s favorite places in Big Bend – super special).  K goes with her.

I’m FREE!, but it’s only 50 or so degrees outside and there are a lot of people at the campsite.

I escape to the tent alone (yay!) to do some “Tent Yoga” (lots of reclining poses, supta P, twists, virasana, etc.).  Might not sound so awesome, but it felt WONDERFUL to me and my poor, neglected body!  Yay yoga!

took some extra time to just be by myself, with myself, it had been so long.  Camping in a 3 person tent with 3 people and a whole 25 more at the site makes for NO alone time unless you can steal it somehow . . .

a remarkable New Years eve (complete with the full Desert Blue Moon), the most wonderful people, and my 2 favorite boys . . . priceless.

January 1, 2010:  Happy 2010!

K, Dave and I are the first ones up at the campsite.  making a lot of coffee, drinking hot chocolate, and eating black eyed peas for breakfast

a beautiful day – the warmest yet – i take off my sweater and enjoy the sun on my arms as we pack up the site

slowly gather our things and say our goodbyes – until next year!

we begin the drive back to Austin with the symbolism of being on the road: leaving something behind, and heading toward something else . . . a symbol of the year left behind and the year ahead.  we reflect and ponder all the 7 hours home (more on this later)

January 2nd:

wake up and unpack the rental car of all the camping equipment – our lives for the past week.  return rental car and the woman behind the counter thinks we brought barbecue into the building – even after showering and a good night’s sleep in a bed, our bodies smell like campfire . . .

go to B’s parents and do a million loads of laundry, wash all our camping supplies, and repack everything again, including christmas gifts for the flight out at 9am tomorrow.

dinner at my fav mexican food restaurant, yum!

one last visit to my beautiful work friends at Hudson’s on the Bend for a late night adios!

shower and asleep by 11:30

January 3rd: Today

up at 6:40 to dry that last load of laundry

pack the car

head to the airport with our 2 carry-ons each and 6 gigantic check-on bags.  Stand in a really long line kicking and pulling along our embarrassing amount of luggage (baggage).

easy flight, and home in Sac by 2 pm.

house reeks of Cat

spend whole afternoon cleaning, cleaning, vacuuming and disinfecting the house of cat-smell.

thaw out frozen chili in freezer.  dinner with B and K . . .

So looking forward to time with myself, in my yoga space tomorrow.  sweet dreams.